The level of public and media interest in intimate partner violence (IPV) is higher than ever. In particular, individuals and municipal governments across Ontario are keenly engaged in thinking about how they can support implementation of the CKW (aka Renfrew County) inquest recommendations.
Now that close to 100 municipalities – doing what is really Doug Ford’s job – have declared IPV to be an epidemic, many are asking “What now? What can we do next?”
It’s the right question to ask. The declaration itself is important both symbolically and practically, but it’s just the beginning of what needs to happen.
With that in mind, the organizers of this year’s Rural Ontario Municipalities Association (ROMA) annual conference made gender-based violence the topic of one of the concurrent sessions for delegates. This was largely due to the efforts of Lanark County Interval House (LCIH) Executive Director Erin Lee, who has been tireless in her efforts to keep a bright light shining on IPV in rural communities. Erin was originally slated to be one of the panelists for this session, but had to pull out at the last minute because of a family emergency. I was pleased to be able to fill in for her.
Close to 100 delegates – surprisingly and happily, about one-third of them men – made their way to the Dominion Ballroom at Toronto’s Sheraton Hotel to learn about what their municipalities could be doing to address gender-based violence in their communities and beyond.
Here is some of what I said:
We know what we need to know
Often, we worry that we don’t know enough to be able to take steps to address intimate partner violence. I want to begin my remarks this morning by telling you this.
You already know everything you need to know. Yes, there is always more to learn – I’ve been doing this work for 30 years, and I am still learning. But all of us in this room know more than enough to be able to take action.
You’ve heard a lot of statistics this morning, so I’m not going to repeat them, but I am going to stress two.
In 2023, 65 women were killed by men who said they loved them. Most often this was a partner or former partner but, of concern, the number of women killed by adult sons is on the increase.
Women in rural communities report IPV to the police at a rate that is 75% higher than do women in urban communities.
Those numbers on their own should be enough information to spur all of us to act. . . .
But is it our job?
Some of you may be wondering why or whether you should endorse the inquest recommendations. After all, aren’t these matters best dealt with by the provincial and federal governments?
In fact, we need all levels of government to engage with this issue if we are to respond to it properly, and there are particular reasons for municipalities to become engaged.
By talking about IPV in our community and endorsing specific inquest recommendations, we move it out of the shadows. It’s no longer something that happens in the privacy of people’s homes and behind closed doors. It’s a community issue not a private one.
That validates the experiences of individual victims and survivors. It also makes your community safer for everyone.
To use the language of one of LCIH’s campaigns:
When we see it, we need to name it and that’s how we change it.
What should we do?
Let me give you a few ideas about where you can go from here.
Start locally. Connect with the shelter, sexual assault centre or sexual assault/domestic violence treatment centre as well as services for perpetrators in your community. Find out what they need from you to be able to do their jobs as well as they can. Invite each of these organizations to make an annual presentation to your council so you can stay on top of what they are doing and what they need from you.
Build relationships. Find out more about your violence against women coordinating committee and see if you can attend a meeting or two. Come out to events like International Women’s Day, Take Back the Night and December 6th. Offer to volunteer at these events or help the organizers access municipal space for their vigils and gatherings.
If you haven’t already declared IPV to be an epidemic, take steps to do so. Make March 8th – International Women’s Day – your deadline. . . .
Taking responsibility for our own communities
As I was preparing for this presentation, I remembered the powerful community impact statement presented at the 2017 sentencing hearing of the man who killed Carol Culleton, Anastasia Kuzyk and Nathalie Warmerdam; the killings that led to the CKW inquest. The community wanted the judge to know that the impact of the killer’s actions went far beyond the women killed and their families and friends. It affected the entire community. Here is a brief excerpt from that statement:
“Today we are a voice for the impact on our community. We are here to speak to the impact that these acts of intimate partner femicide have had in our community . . . . For ALL of us, the time is NOW to ensure that the lived realities of survivors are heard and responded to. There has to be change.”
Or, as one community member said to me during a pre-inquest consultation:
“To survive you have to live in a community that takes responsibility for your safety.”
You can lead your communities in doing just that.